I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I think I sprained my soul last night
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
