I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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