you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
