they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
