My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
