That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
