idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
