I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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