This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
