The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
