Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
