Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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