check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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