I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize