eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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