I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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