don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
