They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
