you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
