For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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