Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize