Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
