I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Randomize
