Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
