Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
