i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
