Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize