Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
