somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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