Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
