Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
