My sheets look like a crime scene.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Can I color on your dick again?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
My penis needs a shock collar
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
