Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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