My balls are so social today.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
