i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
