Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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