I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
