Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I can't turn off my feet"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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