I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
