never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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