therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
