I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
