the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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