No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
