are you still at the devil's house?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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