legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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