he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
you made out with another girl for some wings
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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