dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
there is puke in my bra ... again
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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