next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
