he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
A+ Viking dick
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
