Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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