Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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