I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
