Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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