Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
