too bad you live with your parents still
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
