I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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