I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
